Who's My Daddy?
by super sailor vegeta-sei
Summary: Who is really Sephiroth's father Vincent or Hojo? We will take that question to the Maury show. Review please!
1. Chapter 1

A/N I'm just overly boried. The big question of Final Fantasy 7 who is Sephy's daddy. This fic is pardy of the Maury Show paternity testing. With lots and lots of drama. Disclaimer I don't own final fantasy 7 the easiest game ever but I can still write fanfiction right. This is AU. Vincent will be called sometimes Vinnie because I'm a fangirl and I can. Sephiroth is called Sephy sometimes that's enough fangirl names for one day. I brought Aeris back but she's not in this chapter only mentioned. This is after Final Fantasy 7 in between Advent Children or Dinge of Cerebus I made up somethings ok but it's still quite logical.

Who's my Daddy.

"Welcome to the Maury show. I'm Maury; today outrangous paternity testing. This scientist Lucrecia after 31 years doesn't know who her son,Sephiroth's, true father is. It's either two men. Professer Hojo or Vincent Valentine. Let's bring out Lucrecia!." Maury told everyone. The audience was booing and hooting mixed in harmony. Lucrecia walked out from back stage dresses as a scientist with her brown hair up in a pony tail. She sat down on one of the nice chairs.

"So Lucrecia tell me about the relationships," Maury asked calmly.

"For starters I once loved Vincent a bad boy gun sliger. He worked for Shrina ellite as a Turk. Sure he made alot of money with his job. He was everything you could wish for even though he was a little on the cold side. Vince was so handsome. Soon 'mad' scienctist called Hojo joined shrina. He was evil. He did experiments on living things. Hojo used mako energy and Jenova cells. He was being nice to me. After a while he began to mulnipulate me into thinking that Vincent was a beast. A week after that I dumped Vincent for Hojo. Later I learned that Hojo and Vincent got into a fight. Hojo shot Vince and injected Jenova cells into him. I never saw Vincent Valentine. Hojo forced me into marriage. About a week into marriage I learned that I was pregnant with Sephiroth. I didn't really think about who the father was. Just few months ago I learned Sephiroth turned good that he was the one who unleased meteor upon the Earth. Vincent was alive and he was seeing a young girl called Yuffie." Lucrecia cried. The audience was just silent some were asleep.

Vincent's POV

"In a way I don't want to be here today. Well um I'm anyways to prove Hojo wrong all these years. I just loave the man. Look at what he did to my arm." said Vincent grimly showing his left fore arm. "He cut off my fore arm. He replaced it with this claw. Hojo did many cruel and nasty expirements with me and many others. First off he changed my clothes I didn't wear goth clothes. Sadly I can't take them off. Second Hojo injected demons in me. Whenever I get mad I transform into hideous beasts. They talk in my head. All the time I hear these demons in my head. I want to take responcesbilites for all the malicious things Sephiroth did."

"Let's bring Vincent out," yelled Maury. Vincent walked out with his cloak fluttering in mid step. Dressed like always in a red cloak and black shirt and pants. Fangirls in the audience were cheering him on and calling him hot. He sat down away from Lucrecia.

"So Vincent do you think Sephiroth is your son?" questioned the host

"I actually never thought of that before ,but I don't care since Yuffie is my girl." the gun sliger said cooly

"Vincent how could you not care. It's possible that Sephiroth is your son," Lucrecia's face was beat red with anger, "plus you are dating a young under age minor." The audience went wild with boos and thumbs down. "Vincent you must spent time with Sephiroth if you're his father." the scientist said strickly

"But Lucrecia he is a 31 year old man. I won't make a difference in his life,'' spat Vincent. Lucrecia threw a pillow violently at Vinnie.

"NO BUTS! Now I really do wish Hojo turns out to be Sephiroth's father," she shouted with anger and stomping her feet, "at least Hojo was isn't so cold."

"You bleep don't you understand I'm the father of Sephiroth! You can tell by our facial features. Maury please compair Sephiroth,Hojo,and I." asked Vincent nicely. On the monitor screen the pictures appeared. Sephiroth looking awefully sexy in the middle. Hojo looking like a computer geek on the right. Vincent looking somewhat like Sephiroth on the left. The audience was practically saying unaudibly that Vincent was the father. BEEP BEEP! roared some people.

Hojo's POV

"I think Vincent is a parinoid freak. I didn't change his clothes he choose to wear them. I know I'm Sephiroth's father. Vincent is a fool he doesn't know what he's talking about. Everyone knows Lucrecia loves me more. Everyone in Shinra voted for Vincent to have experiments done ,because he's so unpopular."

"Please let Hojo come out." anounced Maury. Hojo the mad scientist camed out dressed as usual pony tail,lab coat,thick ugly glasses. People were booing him and cussing him.

"Hojo please have a seat.''

"You are here with my girl," the outranged mad scientist screamed and was in a fighting stance,"I'm going to kill you. I'm Sephiroth's father I wanted to create the perfect being. I did the lab work. I want to be a father so badly." Hojo cried

"I should have done this a long time ago," the badass gun slinger stated drawing from the folds of his cloak his gun and pointed it at Hojo cranium.

"Please Vincent this building is fire arm free so I have to tell you put the gun away." Maury said. He ordered sercurty. Vincent shot them.

In Migar

Clould and Tifa turn on the TV. The Maury show was on the title on the bottom on the screen read wild paternity testing. It showed Vincent shoting some sercurity guards.

"Oh my gawrd what has that psychotic vampire done now?" Tifa shreaked.

"I think it's about Sephiroth. I vaguely remember about Vincent talking about being in a relatonship with Sephy's mother. I'm dying to know Sephy's father and how he'll react." said Cloud. The couple just watched.

"I'll kill Hojo if I don't get to see my Yuffie." Vinnie said with anger in his deep voice.

"Guss what Vincent we have Yuffie here." anounced that host renowned for parternity testing. The ninja princess walks out half dressed like always. She sits right by Vincent and gives him a passionate kiss. Vinnie removes the gun from the wicked scientist.

"Look at you; What are you are striper I got dumped for a striper half Vinnie's age?" said Lucrecia. Yuffie gets out her super shuriken.

"How dare you you bleep bleep bleep. I'm a ninja princess of Wutai! No wounder why Vincent dumped you shallow scientist ever heard never judge a book by it's cover!"

"Shallow I'm not shallow. I don't know why he wants a girl like you." screamed the ex-shinra scientist

"Because I'm not boring like you are and I'm a ton of fun. I don't care if Vinnie the Vampire Slayer is Sephiroth's daddy. We'll just live life together." said Yuffie.

"Yuffie please don't call me that name," Vinnie wispered," Please bring Sephiroth out here," said Vincent much happier

"Oh fine Vinnie the Vampire Slayer. We'll bring out Sephiroth." anounced Maury like always

"Please don't call me that Maury." hissed Vincent.

Sephiroth's POV

"I'm very nervous on what the results are going to be. I hope Mr.Vincent is my father ,because at least he didn't use me as a lab rat. I would have been a normal person too if it wasn't for Hojo. Hojo messed up my life like many others people. This is the first time that I really thought about who my father is. I was raised to a a perfect warrior. I was never really loved in my love always hated ,but loved the the wild rabid fangirls."

Sephiroth walked like a super model. He didn't change one bit expect his hair was cut. It was still long,silver and pretty. Fangirls were hooting and asking him out. Sephy just plainly stared at them and took a sit by Vincent and away from Lucrecia and Hojo. The titan staired that Vincent.

"So Sephiroth it must be painful not knowing who your father was your whole life." asked Maury like an annoying social worker.

"No not at all. Actually Aeris forced me to come. Stupid Cid invented a phoenix up which revives the dead and not the KO'd." complained the beauty playing with his hair

"Aeris who's Aeris?"Questioned Maury again.

"She used Holy on me. Holy the most powerful white magic. I killed her before she could pray to the ancients. She destoryed my plans to destory the planet with meteor alone with Clould and some others including Vincent." cried Sephiroth.

"So how do you feel about this?"question Maury dully. Sephiroth got enranged by the stupid question. His pretty boy face was red of furry.

"Guss what. I don't BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP care about the way I BLEEP BLEEP feel." screamed Sephiroth at the top of his robust lungs.

In Migar again with Tifa and Cloud.

"Well I knew that Sephiroth was messed up from day one, but why is Hojo still alive?." Questioned Cloud.

"Good question any minute now they'll spill their beans. I never would have dreamed that Yuffie and Vincent loved each other and.. well um I'm sure that they must be happy together." repiled Tifa

"You know what Sephiroth, we are going to send you to a psychiatrist."Maury spoke. (sorry word pad crappy)

"You know what you are more evil than Aeris." huffed the bishonen.

"Please Sephiroth stop complaining I have the results of the test, but we must take a conmersial break." said Maury monotone like.

End of this chapter. I know this topic is such a big debate with fanboys. I did do some reserch on this subject. Please vote who Sephy's daddy is. You can tell who I think. I know people will flame me and say. You BLEEP HOJO is SEPHIROTH'S DAD or something like yes you are freak'n awesome by believing Vincent is Sephiroth's father. Everyone is debating this topic forever. Let's just hope the Dinge of Cerebus will give us some answers when it comes to the states and Advent Children too.

**REVIEW TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK!**


	2. Chapter 2

My musings and notes: was it too horrible that you couldn't review? Tell me what I need improvement on everything or was it so boring that you fallen asleep at your computer. I take all reviews even from non-members at Thanks for the reviews. Good or bad. I like a little of both. I finshed this game. I completly understand it. Remember this is fanfiction and I respect your views if you think Hojo is Sephiroth's father. This is again before AC and this fic is based directly off of the orginal Final Fantasy 7 no spin offs because square is always delaying them. BTW AC will come out on the 25th of April yes finally! Oh yeah another thing I'm out of my fangirlness so I will use the names Vincent and Sephiroth from now on in this chapter and the show up-date no more Vinnie and Sephy not unless it was spoken by Yuffie. Oh fine if I get less than eight reviews on this chapter I'll make Vincent kill Sephiroth in the Maury show up-date.

You Are the Father Chapter 2

"Ok then I have the results of the test back," Maury took everyone. Hojo was especially nervous rubbing his small,frail hands together.

"Oh Vincent I'll prove you wrong," smirked the mad scientist

"On national television yeah right as if. Remember if you do anything stupid I have a gun."

"I can't believe that I was in love with these two clowns." said Lucrecia

"So shall we please. These are the results of the lie dector test. Lucrecia did you sleep with both of them? She said no and that's a lie." the audence was booing and shouting.

"Now who's the slut now?" taunted Yuffie. Lucrecia had her face in her hands.

"You shut up you BLEEP. You are the bigger ho because the the way you dress," Lucrecia spat back.

"You BLEEP I'm not a ho I just dress really cutely don't I Vinnie."

"Please shut up the both are you," yelled Vincent.

"Hojo did you rape Lucrecia? He said no and that's a lie." The ex-shirna scinctist didn't really remember that. Lucrecia was very enranged by the truth. Also Sephiroth was thinking that this wicked scienctist was his father. Vincent was thinking the same thing too. She though a pillow violently at the most evil mad scientist ever.

"YOU BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP I HATE YOU. You scum of the Earth!." Lucrecia said with lots of hatred. She smote Hojo right in the nose. His black framed glasses came off and landed ten feet away. A crimson river was coming from his nostrels. Blood covered Lucrecia's dainty fest and ran down her pure white lab coat.

"I can't see." Hojo flailed his arms and gropped around for his nerdy glasses.

"Now moving on. Vincent is that arm really fake or just a gauntlet to get more attention? He said yes and that's the truth. Now moving back to Hojo. Hojo did you really use living people for harmfull expirements? He said no and that's a lie. Lucrecia did you really" Maury was interepted

"I'm boried when do we go home ,Vinnie. Vinnie, do you have any cookies because I'm hungery?" Yuffie whinned.

"Yuffie be quite please," wispered Vincent then the ex-turk spoke up" Maury please go on."

" Lucrecia did you really lie to both Vincent and Hojo. She said yes and that's the truth. Drum roll please now for the results of the paternity test. Hojo you aren't the father."

In Migar

"So that must mean the father is Vincent. So actully since I'm Sephiroth's clone I must have some of Vincent's DNA" stated Clould

"What how could this be!" Questioned Hojo. The mad scienctist finally stop bleeding and he found his glasses. "It is I that should have done this test not some silly talk show host that doesn't know what he's talking about. Maury you are a BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP fool.

"Yes, thank the gods Hojo isn't my father after all." prayed Sephiroth.

"Vincent you are the father." Vincent wasn't superised he just sat there like his usual style. Sephiroth came up and hugged his daddy.

"Father please don't don't asociate much with Hojo." Sephiroth pleaded.

"You know what Sephiroth I hate Hojo just as much as God hates Satan.

"Well, on this paternity test something werid showed up some werid foreigen cells and this werid energy ,'' said Maury.

"Well, those my friend are Jenova cells and mako energy the same mako energy and Jenova cells that I injected into Vincent," Hojo stated firmly "I can always inject Maury with Jenova cells and mako energy. He'll be very similar to Sephiroth and Vincent."

"Hojo that isn't right. Maury didn't do anything to you. He just proved your hypothesis wrong as most of you scinctist say." Vincent calmly stated

"Please can we go now. I'm really really boried Vinnie. Like the whole world knows Sephy your son."

"You guys Yuffie's right. Another 13 year old slut needs to find out who out of thrity men are her baby's daddy. Yes, I know same crap every episode. Good bye untill next time Amercia."

Sailor Vegeta-sei. Hey it's a short chapter. This isn't the end of this fic. It will be only there chapters maybe more if I have any ideas about Vin/Sep/Yuf bondings and stuff like that. This is of corse based heavily on the orginal game. I don't care about spin offs. I will of course buy AC and DoC ,but that's like later this year. Some people gave me good reviews thank you so very much. Remember I take all reviews remembers and non-members or flames and praises.

**REVIEW IF I GET LESS THAN REVIEWS ON THIS CHAPTER VINCENT WILL SHOT SEPHIROTH WITH DEALTH PENTALTY!**


	3. Chapter 3

Hi I'm super sailor vegeta-sei. This is the last chapter of this fic. Don't cry because there will be a sequel. What am I becoming Square Soft/Enix? It's with Yuffie,Vincent and Sephiroth all live together in the same house they deal with real life situations. Is my grammar that bad? I proof read it and appeared OK to me. This is loosely based on the game it has nothing to do with Advent Children or Dinge or Cerebus which means death of Vincent's guguns Someone said to shot SephSophey other people will flame me for it. I don't care if people flame me. Even classic books that are well written get flamed

Maury Show Up-dates

"Hi Maury this is Sephiroth. Thanks for sending me to a shrink. I feel much better now. All of my past is behind me now. Vincent he's such a nice guy and so is Yuffie. Those two are such a cute couple. I feel like you gave me a family. I love you. Sephiroth."

"Hi Maury," Yuffie waving to the camera. "Well I can't believe that I'm living with someone that killed a friend of mine and that we were fighting against for a year or so. Sephiroth is a changed man. I also have something to say. Me and Vinnie are getting married soon. Oh my goodness that means Sephy is my step-son-in-law or something like that. Vinnie, I'm hungry make me some Wutain noodles with cookies on the side.'' (Yuffie's always hungry)

"Hey Maury," said Vincent dryly, " Thanks a million for having me on the show and proving Hojo is wrong. Ever since I've been on the show Sephiroth won't leave me alone. He lives with me. Sephiroth is so lazy he won't get a job. Sephiroth if you are eating all of our food while watching Maury,Sally,Oprah,and Montel get off your lazy lard ass and get a job and please stop making out with Aeris!"

"Hello Maury,'' said Lucrecia, ''I really enjoyed being on the show and learning about what Hojo did. I got a letter from Sephy my baby. He said that he's so so so happy. Sephy also said that Vincent and Yuffie are getting married. Congradualations Yuffie and Vincent. I hope you two will be blessed with many children. By the way Hojo and I are back together. I forced him into a mental instatution. He certainly hated it ,but now he's much better and hasn't raped me."

"Greetings man who proved my expirements wrong," stated Hojo, "Me andLucrecia are together. That's all I have to say and I hate you Vincent Valetine."

This is the last chapter of this fic. If you want a sequal you can have it. About Sephiroth and Aeris I think it's very cute. I double check it if you see any mistakes tell me ,because now I know what I have mistakes nothing is perfect.


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